Tag Archives: casual sex

Are Bedbugs the New STI?

I read an article in GQ today that got me thinking…with this new epidemic of bedbugs (particularly in the Indiana region), are bedbugs the new STI?

I mean, think about it. If you’re going to get some strange from the bar (or the coffee shop, or the library, or online, or wherever people find people these days), you’re going to potentially end up in their bed, where they could potentially have bedbugs.

They might say they’ve been tested, and think they’re in the clear. But, is it time for us to start asking about bedbugs?

I think it’s a valid question. I wouldn’t be offended if someone wanted to check my mattress for little black spots before hopping in.

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Can Casual Sex Lead To Long Term?

I’ve had many friends (and likely been there myself) where in a casual sex situation, one of the two people involved are hoping to get a little more out of it than sexual satisfaction. Most of the time, the ‘little more’ that’s desired is in the form of a romantic relationship.

I think this is dangerous territory. However, researchers have recently published a study that shows casual sex can lead to just as satisfying a relationship as those relationships that form out of more ‘innocent’ roots.

I wrote a blog on this for Kinsey Confidential that you can check out here.

I don’t know about this…I’m not sure I agree. I think that the only way this could happen is if both people happen to stay on the same page through the whole transition. To me, the chances of that happening are minuscule. Then again, I’m a realist. To all you hopeful romantics out there….one research study says you can do it!

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Scientifically, What’s a Booty Call?

I posted a new Kinsey Confidential blog post today about a study that recently got published in the Journal of Sex Research….you can check it out here.
I love that people are doing research on this! My SRBFF (that stands for “sex researcher best friend forever” and you’ll likely hear me use that term often to refer to my wickedly awesome sex researcher friends), Jos, actually does similar research as well, and you can follow her blog here. Anyway, I love that people research this! It is so incredibly relevant.

And, as I mention in my KC article, the booty call is constantly changing with the increasing presence of technology. And, as I have outlined in a previous blog post here, I’m not a huge fan of texting as a primary means of communication.

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Can You Have Sex Without Emotion?

Can you have one without the other? I’m not so sure….

In the pilot episode of Sex and the City, Samantha says “I want to have sex like a man” – what she meant was, I want to have sex without emotion, without attachment, and without fuss. For some reason (a reason beyond the scope of this post), we are surrounded with messages that women are emotional and men are just not. We are also surrounded with information that supports rewards for men who sleep around but punishment for women who do the same.

I’ve had this discussion with so many friends, many of which are supporters that women and men are just wired differently. I have other friends who would dispute that argument and would instead argue that women and men are wired the same, but women have been socially constructed to get emotionally attached. I have other friends who would argue that it has nothing to do with gender.

I’ve come to the conclusion that sex and emotion can be separated. However, I think it requires deliberation. I think it can be done – with conscious effort.

Maybe its people-specific. With some people, you can draw a line….with others, you can’t. It’s rarely a perfect combination of both parties being entirely invested the same amount. That perfect balance is rare.

Maybe it has something to do with how “into” someone you are. If you don’t see long-term potential, it is likely easier to separate the two. If you see long-term potential, it makes it harder and a conscious effort has to be made to remain in check.

Regardless…it’s pretty complex.

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