So, you’ve found a great guy: You have a great time with him, he gets along with your friends, and he makes you laugh hysterically with his charming personality. But do you feel like your relationship is missing a little something—some talent, perhaps?
That can be a really frustrating position (pun intended) to be in. Everything else feels perfect, but there are no fireworks under the sheets. Those fireworks are what distinguish your partner from being your best friend, so they shouldn’t be ignored. And remember – great lovers aren’t born; great lovers are made.
At Good in Bed, we believe that your sex life is an important priority. So follow these simple steps from our experts to turn your partner into the lover and orgasm whisperer you know he can be:
- Open communication is key to making him a better lover. “Let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t, while he’s doing it, suggests sex educator and Good in Bed expert Anna Potter.” That means you’ve really got to be comfortable communicating your needs to your man. When he is doing something you love, say, “Keep doing that; it feels amazing.” Or when he is doing something you don’t like, say, “I really liked it when you did [xyz]…will you do that again?”
- A lot of men (and women) don’t necessarily realize that clitoral stimulation is key, for example. By telling your partner what makes you feel good, you’ll be completing the first step toward forming a mediocre lover into a great one.
- By opening the lines of communication, you’re not only telling him what you want, but you’re also talking to him about sex during sex, something that a lot of men go wild for. That brings us to the next step in attaining pleasure-induced bliss…
- If you are communicating openly about sex, you might as well sneak in some dirty talk. Cluing him in to what will do the trick is the best way to make him a better lover.
- “When you’re fooling around, tell him how you want to be touched in a sex tone, like “I get so turned on when you rub my clit,” “a little to the left,” “faster,” or “I love gentle licks,” says sexuality educator and Good in Bed expert Amy Levine.
Use Your Body
- Get hands-on with your communication by taking his hand in yours, placing it where you want, and guiding him with the pressure, motion, and rhythm you crave. “This is best done in carnal configurations that maximize the possibility for clitoral stimulation like woman-on-top or doggy style,” explains Levine.
- The added bonus: you know what you like…so you can best guide him to those areas.
Know Your Body
- By knowing your erogenous areas and trying positions that stroke them just right, you can maximize your pleasure and show him the map to your body. You’ll never be able to experience your maximum pleasure threshold if you haven’t tried finding it on your own body.
- The more comfortable you are with your body, the more comfortable you’ll be to communicate about those likes and dislikes with your partner.
- Once you know your body, try positions that focus on your erogenous areas – like your G-spot, which often gets stimulated when he’s thrusting behind you.
Sure, once you train your guy to be the perfect lover for you, you’ll be in sexual bliss –and he’ll officially be the man of your dreams. But don’t forget to enjoy the ride along the way. Experimenting with different positions and stimulation points can add just as much excitement and pleasure to the sexual experience as the end result.
This post was originally on Betty Confidential.